Ever been knocked over by a huge ocean wave? It turns you upside down, and you get lost in a pool of dense salt water for about 3-4 seconds, only it feels like a lifetime? That was what 2010-2012 was like for me. Living with a numb feeling that’s so difficult to describe to someone on the outside.  A chronological string of bad decisions, all because I was in search of a different feeling, a different way of being.